as much as i dont really feel like it, i might as well write now

- went to the show, ride from spencers dad lolol
- hung out with aaron and whatnot
- watched the first two bands play
- saw mike
- watched die daily
- watched fear before the march of flames (and died a little bit)
- saw brody walking around, went and attacked him (i didn't think he was actually coming seeing as i didnt hear from him)
- watched textbook tragedy
- watched means
- looked around for brody as soon as the lights went on, couldn't  find him, assumed he left/didn't want to see me
- went outside and layed down on the sidewalk
- saw ian
- the guitarist from means randomly came and sat down with us, suuuuper super nice guy. he told me my eyes were pretty and sparkly (and i laughed probably because i was ready to cry)
- talked with him for a while once the rest of the guys joined in
- he peaced
- we peaced
- carride home was depressing, i was holding back tears the whole time becauuuuuuse...yeah.
- fffffffffffffffffffff
- got home and my FUCKING garage door was wide open. i crept in and checked my dad's truck, stuff's stolen from it
- closed the garage door and checked the front door. open, unlocked.
- looked inside and it instantly reminded me of the most suspenseful scene in a horror movie. my house was entirely pitch black, which it never is. my mom always leaves the light by the kitchen sink on.
- i had a panic attack so i went and sat down on the curb for a few minutes until i collected myself and caught my breath.
- went back inside, called for my parents but no one answered. thennn my sister's bedroom light when on and she creeped out and was like "they're sleeping"
- i told her what happened and we both freaked
- i chilled out, had some rice and something to drink because i hadnt eaten all day
- uploaded pictures
- talked to brody about everything (we both fucked up.)

etc.
weird night.

Everything is soo weird right now. I don't know what the hell to do. I need to find a new place to live but i don't want to live in a dirty punk house anymore like soo many people. I guess I could move to another state but where? Maybe some place where people think a guy whos almost 30 who collects video games and records is cool...hahahah. Eh well shit will get better i know.
Sucks i have to work all weekend but eh who cares next weekend i have the whole weekend off maybe i'll go to boston and hang out with everyone if anything is going on

so....
tonight was interesting... i dont know what to think, i had so many highs annnnnnd rock bottom low.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i think i'll write about it tomorrow
i need to watch pictures upload and stuff.

i listen to fear before the march of flames nonstop.

there is too many people in my house right now, i could die

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand its been fourty minutes but brody has yet to call

/stress stress stress

first of all i just had a crappy sneeze attack that lasted a good 10 minutes, needless to say i've lost a million more brain cells then i normally do every day. fffffffffffffffffffffffffff. my heads all weird now.

anyway
yesterday, i had a good day. i don't know why but shows, whether they're in the basement of a church, some crappy poorly lit venue or like rexall, they always just get me so stoked for like no reason.
yesterday was cope, hominid, die daily, this very day, shipwreck and maybe some other band, iunno.
it was in the basement of a church here in st.albert
weird
but deece
had a good time
saw some people i havent seen in a while.

nice.
katie and i walked home after, it was the perfect temperature outside and kind of raining.
at chinese food at my house.
yeah
i love her


today is going to be fucking sssssssssssssssssstressful.
but another show tonight
fear before the march of flames w/ means and textbook tragedy
and die daily
it's like my fourth time seeing them live
do not want haha

ugh.

yes i do. i need a new ID and my 13 grand now!

i feel like shit.

i tried sleeping this morning sometime after 6am but there was a goddamn thunderstorm that kept me awake, on top of that i was upset about life and i was worried as fuck about mike because he got kicked out last night & was staying outside. askjgfslkjbgksldjgbn!!!
my mom and i are supposed to go job shopping but i cant even get out of bed, my arms and legs are like FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

so.
i don't know.

last niiiight there was a HUGE thunderstorm, the thunder was so loud and the lightning was so violent >:[ i recorded a video of the happenings inside my house at the time, everyone mostly freaks out about not knowing where the cat is, and all go "WHOA" when they see big lightning. meanwhile there's me, like sobbing and whining and hiding and whatnot. such a fail.

I've just lost everything I had ever wanted.. I don't care about anything anymore

okay, where the hell is shelby? SHELBY!!!!!!

.... i got told that my grandparents are going on a vacation.......
.....................
to finland.
they're going to finland in september, and staying for the entire month.
FINLAND.

the best part? my grandparents love me. they've fucked up as guardians a lot in their lifetimes; they are happy to do whatever they can to get me and/or my little sister to spend time with them.
do you know how easy it might be to pull some strings so i can go with them?
i can see it now
i take the plane with them
spend a couple of days/nights
go shopping there with my grandma
go sight seeking
go home on a plane by myself after a couple of days

even just BEING in finland is probably the greatest thing i could ever ask for.
my parents always talking about going on ~*~*vacations to tropical places*~*~
screw going to hawaii
costa rica
the dominican republic
seriously, screw that
i want to go to finland
i've wanted to go to finland since i was like 10 years old.

finland.

Yeah so the past month has been sooo fucking horrible and it just seems to egt worse and worse. I've barely left my house in the past 3-4 days. All i do is drink alone and watch tv or work in the store. I miss my best friend but i know she's moved on and i'm not worth her time anymore. It sucks but people grow apart...oh well. Gotta suck it up and move on...but shit its hard

things are good. i love my new house. i love that kendra and i just have parties on any given day and none of the surrounding crackheads ever complain. i like rocco a lot. it sucks that mike hates me but i'm trying to stay positive and do what's good for me. i've been doing a pretty good job. lost a best friend this week. that really sucks. watching the game with matt, pat, rj, and kennnny poooo. night.

i have to take a test. which i havent done since highschool/ im gone fail and lose my job., the study guide i got only gives me an address online that doesnt exist. www.lasergrade.com/lgonline.html

doesnt exist.

i feel sick over it.

im fucked.

i forgot some things

- i ate a sucker with a REAL scorpion in the middle tonight.
- I FUCKING HATE WHEN PEOPLE GUILT TRIP ME. I HATE IT. FKASGJKDSJGHSDKLGJ
- also graham's mom sent me a cute message on facebook:

Profile Pic
Between You and Diane Charles

Diane Charles
Today at 7:06pm
You're profile pics just get better + better!!! You little Hottie!!!!

So I hear you'r scared to come over + watch anymore episodes of Fear Itself,huh?!?!? Poor Graham.....sooooo disappointed. Ahhhhh....

friday i woke up at 10am to meet becky and katie at west edmonton mall - THEY'RE TWINS BTW and i met them two years ago at the afi concert. they are total darlings, i love them. we walked around the mall for a few hours together before the joining the line for the imax theatre, we had three tickets for the dark knight and  the guy warned us to be early so we could get good seats. before waiting in line, i bought sushi, bubble milk and pocky and the girls bought some as well.

we got middle/middle and sat infront of this railing, so we could put our feet up on it. katie saved a spot beside her so she could put our bags and stuff there, and the guy on the other side of the seat even put some of his stuff too :p

before the movie started there was about half an hours worth of previews and shit, along with this imax presentation that i swear almost gave me a seizure. there was lazer beams and techno music and it was just weird.

anyway we saw the movie and i have to say, it was the greatest i've ever seen in my life. i don't want to spoil it for anyone... but go see it. in imax. it's something you wont regret.

the twins' daddy drove me home because i missed my bus by five minutes, haha. the three of us chatted about the twilight movie during the entire ride, and came to the conclusion that they have to come down for a visit so we can all see it together on opening day <3<3<3 stoked for that!

then i went home and basically napped all night, haha, waking up at 10am is bad.

today i basically did nothing, played guitar hero until matt called me and said he was coming over to drop off my glasses. four of them arrived in his car across my street & i went to talk to them. they convinced me to get them a glass of water, showed me videos of them beating up sam and also tried to convince me to let them in my house. sam and gabe insisted on petting my cat when she appeared in my front lawn, yada yada. gabe kept spraying me with random perfumes he found in matt's car. ahhhh. i love those boys but they are so ridiculous.

tomorrow i'm supposed to go to the river with my family
should be interesting i guess

then monday i'm going job hunting
all week i'm going job hunting

tuesday i'm going to a st.albert show with katie & we're gonna get donairs
annnnd wednesday is fear before the march of flames<3<3<3<3<3<3, means and textbook tragedy
stoked!

got so much salt from your lies poured into me, you didn't see yourself dead already..
so full of with every breath you breathe
but you forget that in your fairy tale, i'm the wolf.
all this attention got you thinking that you're a queen, you think that everything you're doing isn't a dream, long as it feels right.
i had gotten frozen by the way you walked, by the love that you gave, by that look on your face
it's a coverup; i know everything,
you're made four letter fame,
regret is part of your name.
there's something you couldn't tell, it's what you wanted to feel. it's what you're dying to feel.
check out your face on the wall, like what you see?
i'm sure you see yourself, oh so unique.
you're just a sucker for the flame of the week.
but you forget that in your fairy tale, i'm the wolf.
all this attention got you thinking you were a queen,
you thought that everything in life you want should be free.
nothing is what you think.

i was awake at five am this morning. just sitting on my bed with the lights off, staring out the window. i have a decent view from my window. it was nice... not sure what time i passed out.

i don't remember what time i woke up today... probably after 1pm. its sad how long i sleep in. half the time, i'm not even sleeping. but i just have no motivation to get out of bed, really.

anyway, i sat on the trampoline for a while just thinking about things. i have a lot of overwhelming stuff on my brain right now fkdsjgkffsafksknsdbf
took a shower
and my mom left to get groceries & pick up her dad from the bus depot. i guess hes staying with us for a while... my house is awkward and quiet.
while she was gone i sat out in my front yard with my cat and took pictures. that's all i really do anymore.
my hair is pretty fried.

um....
i guess i did nothing all evening. talked to my dad about stuff, he's supposed to take me to get my learners this week, and he might hook me up with a macbook. batteries & a new memory card for my camera for sure. stoked.

i thought i left my phone charger at kaiete's house (WHICH WOULD HAVE SUCKED BECAUSE SHE'S OUT OF TOWN FOR A WEEK)
but i found it. i could have sworn i left it.

tonight at midnight matt called & said he was coming to pick me up. i walked to max to meet him and there was lightning lighting up the sky in every direction around me.
accompanied with taylor and gabe we drove around for some time, stopped to get gas, got mcdonalds, walked around the overpass and beat each other with tree branches
i got home around 2:30...

and now here i am. ready for bed, just having a glass of silk before i lay down.
bleh.
tomorrow morning i'm meeting the twins & we're going to go see the new batman movie together. should be good, i haven't seen them in..... 3 years? love them girls.
i'm going to stock up on pocky from tnt
definitely stoked.

http://flickr.com/photos/haileyjellyfish/
http://flickr.com/photos/haileyjellyfish/
http://flickr.com/photos/haileyjellyfish/
http://flickr.com/photos/haileyjellyfish/

Bad insomnia lately. Maybe it's because I'm stressed out about job stuff, maybe it's because I'm excited about moving tomorrow, or maybe it's just because they're playing Halo really loudly in the next room until at least 4 am every night.

I need to stick to my diet. And I mean completely stick to it. I miss ice cream already. I also need to start a yoga routine. I feel like I have so much to do. So why am I always bored?

it's almost 5am and i'm not really tired. a little fatigued, but when i lay down i can still get up meaning i'm not exhausted. i napped 6 hours today, granted i didn't sleep last night.

yesterday i headed over to kaiete's to stay at her house for the night, we rented some movies in edmonton and watched shoot em up... which was the most frustrating movie ever. in the first 15 minutes, the main character uses a carrot to kill a guy, shoots 20-ish other d00ds, deliver's a preggo woman's baby in an abandoned factory whilst still shooting guys... and it goes on to be even more ridiculous. you have to see it to understand.

at midnightish we crept out of kaiete's house (her parents are apparently nazis so we had to be sneaky) & got picked up by josh and his friend down the street from her place.
- drove to the apartments. a group of gamers reside in the apartments and have doors open policies hahahha! it's so hilarious. the second we walked in there it smelled heavily of marijuana, so i had no idea what to expect.
- everyone was super friendly though, despite either being a little buzzed or stoned.
- i instantly felt pretty comfortable there although i didn't know anyone around me except for josh and kaiete.
- overall, had a super good visit there. included going for a 1am mcdonalds run, sitting on the roof, cuddling with strangers, taking photos of everyone and everything and witnessing the game 'who-can-put-the-most-stuff-on-the-passed-out-drunk-guy'. all photo evidence can be found on my flickr

kaiete and i got a ride back to her place at around 2:30. we had to creep back inside again, but once we were inside it was all good. we snuggled up on her comfy bed and watched the movie SHUTTER. it was meh... really super creepy and had me EEK'in every now and then. sweet plot twists and whatnot. i have no idea what time it was when we decided to lay down, according to kaiete's mommy it was around 5amish.
i did not sleep at all. i was resting, in a state of perfect content with kaiete sleeping quietly beside me, but my head was waaaay too restless to sleep. i got up in the morning all groggy & had to be home by 10:30 for an orthodontist appointment WHICH WAS SO FUCKING POINTLESS BY THE WAY DDSKFJSFLKASFSA. i walked in there, sat down, orthodontist looked at my teeth, told me to bite down and said "k see you in four months."
e_e waste of time.

thennnnnn i had a hair appointment at 1.
that took 3 hours.
she did a bleach cocktail on my hair (oh my goodness, you should have seen the seafoam green color my hair was after that)
then infused it with a deep purple base, added red highlights and maroon undertones.
i'm not really happy.. it's too dark
but it will do for now i guess
i'll go get a job

i layed down to nap after that, probably at around six
then didn't get up till 12:30
i was stoked because there was boston pizza waiting for me on the counter when i went upstairs :D kind of cold and soggy, but you win some and you lose some. right?

anyway. that's about all for now.

i got my hairs did.

i'm not happy.